Patrick Star Wars
Patrick Star Wars is an episode of The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star. Part 2: The Farce Awakens Transcript (Pat Starwalker is sleeping on a rock in the middle of a desert planet when the robot Squidroid lands on the planet, waking him up.) Pat Starwalker: Hello. Squidroid: Do you know where I can find Obi-Wan Krabnobi? Pat Starwalker: You bet I do! He runs my favorite restaurant: The Kelestial Krab! Squidroid: Kelestial Krab? But "celestial" makes the soft "s" sound, not the hard "k" sound that would give such a name an alliterative appeal. Pat Starwalker: I don't understand a word you just said! Come on! (Pat Starwalker and Squidroid go to the Kelestial Krab, where Obi-Wan Krabnobi is handing out Krabby Packets.) Pat Starwalker: Yum! Packets of processed, non-perishable food items! Just like mommy made them. Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Squidroid! What are you doing here? Squidroid: Princess Sandra sent me here with a message. (Squidroid presses a button on his chest, and a hologram of Princess Sandra pops out.) Princess Sandra: Obi-Wan Krabnobi, I need your help. Pat Starwalker: Wow, that princess is tiny! Princess Sandra: The evil Darth Planktor is holding me captive, and he won't release me until you come and fight him! Pat Starwalker: Don't worry, tiny princess! I'll save you! (Pat Starwalker jumps into a spaceship parked outside.) Pat Starwalker: (from inside the spaceship) Ooh, what does this button do? (The spaceship explodes. Obi-Wan Krabnobi and Squidroid rush out of the Kelestial Krab and see an ash-covered Pat lying down where the spaceship once stood.) Pat Starwalker: (coughs) Did I save the tiny princess? Obi-Wan Krabnobi: No, but you did blow up me ship! Squidroid: How will we acquire another spacecraft on such short notice? Pat Starwalker: You use a lot of big words. (A large, pineapple-shaped spaceship lands behind Pat, and SpongeSolo walks out of it.) SpongeSolo: Man, I cannot wait to try out another Krabby Packet! Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Hey, can I borrow your ship? SpongeSolo: What's in it for me? Obi-Wan Krabnobi: (holds out a Krabby Packet) Free Krabby Packet? SpongeSolo: (takes the Krabby Packet) Fine, but I'm driving. (SpongeSolo, Obi-Wan Krabnobi, and Squidroid walk onto SpongeSolo's ship.) SpongeSolo: So, where are you headed? Obi-Wan Krabnobi: The Death Bucket. SpongeSolo: Really? Okay, it's your funeral. (A hairy snail slithers out of another room.) Squidroid: What is that atrocious thing? SpongeSolo: That "atrocious thing" is Garebacca, my snookiee. Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Snookiee? SpongeSolo: Yes. It's a cross between a snail and a wookiee. Garebacca: Merowrowrow. Pat Starwalker: Hey, do you know where the bathroom is? Obi-Wan Krabnobi: When did you get here? Pat Starwalker: A couple seconds ago. Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Well, un-get here! SpongeSolo: Too late. We're lifting off. (SpongeSolo flies his ship to the Death Bucket.) SpongeSolo: This is as far as I'll go. You three do what you're going to do, and I'll be back in an hour. Voice: Leaving so soon? (Darth Planktor appears behind SpongeSolo, startling him.) SpongeSolo: Darth Planktor, sir! I was just escorting Obi- Darth Planktor: Yeah, I know what you were doing. SpongeSolo: I'd love to stay, but I've gotta feed Garebacca. Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Besides, you were here to fight me! Leave my friends out of it! Pat Starwalker: You consider me a friend now? Obi-Wan Krabnobi: No. (to Planktor) You can have that guy. (SpongeSolo and Squidroid go back into SpongeSolo's spaceship.) Squidroid: I'm so worried about my master! SpongeSolo: Chill out. He'll be fine. Wait, where's the pink one? (Pat Starwalker is walking through a Death Bucket hallway when he notices Princess Sandra in a prison cell.) Pat Starwalker: Hey, you're the tiny princess from before! Princess Sandra: Are you here to rescue me? Pat Starwalker: No, I smelled some roast beef... I mean, yeah! I totally came to save you! (Pat Starwalker rips off the middle two bars of Princess Sandra's prison cell, and she walks out.) Princess Sandra: Thanks. Pat Starwalker: Why were you locked up? Princess Sandra: Because I've been fighting against Darth Planktor's Galactic Chumpire with Obi-Wan Krabnobi. Pat Starwalker: Really? Obi-Wan Krabnobi is fighting Darth Planktor right now! Princess Sandra: Where? (Obi-Wan Krabnobi is having a lightsaber duel with Darth Planktor on the roof of the Death Bucket.) Darth Planktor: Face it, Obi-Wan Krabnobi! You lose! Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Not yet I haven't! (Darth Planktor knocks Obi-Wan Krabnobi's lightsaber out of his hand and shoves his own lightsaber through Obi-Wan Krabnobi's chest.) Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Now I lose. (Pat Starwalker and Princess Sandra run up to the roof just as Obi-Wan Krabnobi falls.) Princess Sandra: No! You'll pay for this, villain! (Darth Planktor picks up Obi-Wan Krabnobi's lightsaber and throws it through Princess Sandra's chest.) Princess Sandra: Never mind. (falls) Pat Starwalker: Tiny princess! (Pat Starwalker takes the lightsaber out of Princess Sandra's chest and engages in a lightsaber battle with Darth Planktor. Pat Starwalker knocks the lightsaber out of Darth Planktor's hand then forces him to the edge of the roof.) Darth Planktor: Wait! I am your father! Pat Starwalker: Really? Darth Planktor: No. (Darth Planktor grabs the lightsaber Pat Starwalker is holding and turns around, throwing Pat Starwalker off the roof.) Darth Planktor: Thank goodness this breathing suit comes with lightsaber-resistant gloves! (Pat Starwalker tumbles right into SpongeSolo's ship.) SpongeSolo: Good thing I got back when I did! Pat Starwalker: SpongeSolo, it was horrible! Obi-Wan Krabnobi and Princess Sandra... (Obi-Wan Krabnobi and Princess Sandra come out of another room.) Obi-Wan Krabnobi: What about us? Pat Starwalker: You're alive? How? Obi-Wan Krabnobi: I rescued Princess Sandra before you did, and using a Jedi trick, I made clones of us to keep you and Darth Planktor occupied as we rigged the Death Bucket with explosives. Pat Starwalker: Wait, what? (The Death Bucket explodes.) Pat Starwalker: I never got to find that roast beef. Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Perhaps it was for the best. SpongeSolo: Wait, keep him and Darth Planktor occupied? (points at Pat) How did you know he wasn't with us? Obi-Wan Krabnobi: Because if there's anything I know about him, it's that he knows how to get lost. (Everyone except Pat Starwalker laughs.) Pat Starwalker: I don't get it. Category:The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star Category:Specials Category:Episodes Category:Parodies Category:Featured Category:JCM Category:Patchy Picks Category:2014